September 11, 2014

thursday’s thought

life in blush thursdays thought_don't tell me I'm beautiful

Happy Thursday blushers! I really love this quote (truncated from a longer version by an unknown author) because it reminds me of the line Julia Roberts’ character delivers in Notting Hill:

Rita Hayworth used to say, “They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me.”

Gilda was Rita’s most famous part and men would go to bed with the dream only to wake up disappointed with the reality. So why do I love it?

I love it because it highlights the overemphasis society places on beauty. Beauty, and our obsession with it, dates back to the dawn of time as we’re hardwired to advance our species with what our ‘brains’ determine to be the most beautiful, but today it’s the media (and the rampant use of photoshop) that’s telling us what we’re ‘supposed’ to find beautiful. Of course there’s not a woman out there that doesn’t want their lover to look at them and tell them they’re absolutely stunning, but what we really want is for them to tell us what exactly it is that makes them look at us like we’re pure magic.

Women are definitely more than just exquisite paint on a piece of canvas, they are, as this unknown author says, a ‘fucking masterpiece’.

 

  • corina

    It makes me sad that the word ‘beautiful’ has been cornered into only meaning one thing. I love the word beautiful, I think it is a beautiful word! It sounds nice when I say it, I like that it is neither short nor too long, I like it’s ratio of consonants to vowels! Haha, I am only half joking, but truly: to me, it means so much. I might tell someone that I love their dress or their skin looks great, but when I tell a person that they are beautiful, I mean that they are really beautiful, inside and out, as a human being. Beauty is not one thing, and yes, it is in the eye of the beholder as we all value different things in a person, inside and out – and I like to think that this gives us all a chance to be beautiful!

    That being said, I do agree that women, people, some moreso than others, are masterpieces. The F word was overkill for me, but you know.. 😉

    • I love your comment Corina! It brings up a very valid point that I don’t disagree with. I think the word ‘beautiful’ is one of the most precious words in the English languages when used respectfully. By that I mean reserving its use for things like a moment in time, a person or a scene of Mother Nature laid out before you that truly touches at your soul. A person is beautiful not only for their appearance, but also for their strength of character, their love for themselves and others, and how their smile can light up the world. I’ve too often heard guys utter, without conviction, “you’re beautiful” to a girl they barely know and it saddens me how hollow that word has become. There is great beauty in this world to behold and I by no means think the word should be laid to rest, but rather ask that we think about how we’re using it when we compliment a woman. If one day I had a partner that knew my deepest fears, my greatest accomplishments, my insecurities, the demons and battles I’ve fought, what fuels my mind and lights me up, and what makes me laugh like a kid again, IF at that point they turned to me and said I was ‘beautiful’ I would take it as the highest compliment because they would be complimenting the very essence of ‘me’. Thanks for chiming in, I love the thoughts it sparked for me! xo

  • This is such a great post! I think our ideals of beauty have changed to, so as the “perfect woman” should be tall, skinny, and airbrushed flawlessly. People tend to value others and male first impressions based on appearance. We need to change that!

    • Great point! Further to that I think our tendency to judge based on first impressions is biological and evolutionary, but I agree that our perception of beauty has changed. If we look back to the paintings from the 16th century we see women who are voluptuous and radiate an incredibly gorgeous ‘essence’. It wasn’t until the 60’s when Twiggy dominated the runway however that there became this obsession with weight. I’m by no means saying that women who are naturally slender aren’t beautiful, but the media has taken a hold of this ‘idea’ of the waif and have made those women who are all different healthy shapes and sizes feel ashamed. We have to stop looking at the photo shopped and airbrushed models in the magazines and stop listening to ads that tell us to restrict calories and eat their products and instead return to a way of eating and a philosophy of life that makes sense for a human body. We would never feed a bonobo, our closest genetic relative, a Special K calorie-restricted bar so why are we feeding it to ourselves? Thanks for your input Megan, I hope you have a great weekend! xo

      • I didn’t want to venture too much in the evolutionary aspect, but its definitely a critical one! Certain attributes we find attractive are definitely signs of good health and fertility. But some, have been cause of how the media misguidedly interprets beauty. I love your analogies, we really should become more acceptant of others and ourselves.

        Xoxo,
        Megan